Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Distinguished Gentleman of the Month: Debonair Murray

Debonair Murray
University of Kentucky, Lexington, Kentucky
Graduation Date: 12/21/2018
Occupation: Hospitality Industry with Courtyard Marriot and Aimbridge Hospitality and Brand Ambassador For Superior Supply Co., striving to provide products of the greatest quality. Making everyday pieces for the above average person

Facebook: Debonair Murray

Instagram: debonair_debonair

1. What does "Distinguished Gentleman" mean to you?

What a distinguished gentleman means to me that is that you are confident man and that you are solid in your identity, whatever that may be. There is always room for improvement if you strive to be a distinguished individual. According to the Dictionary, a gentleman is defined as a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man. A distinguished gentleman is more than just the walk and the talk. To be a distinguished gentleman, I believe that one must develop and strive to improve those traits. When you step into a room, your presence should be felt first without even saying a word not because of what you are wearing, but simply because of the very essence of who you are. Whether it is crooked or not, your smile should shine a light so bright that it makes the blind see. Your touch no matter how foreign to a stranger it may be should bare so much authenticity that ignites a contagious desire to inspire them to make others feel loved and that their existence is appreciated. That is what a distinguished Gentleman means to me.  


2. What is your brand and how did you get started? 

I don’t have a brand just yet, but I would like to say that I have made impacts on the campus that I graduated from and the community it lies within. The difference I made for the community was   done through student leadership. Ever since the start of my undergraduate career I felt like I was required to get involved to not only find a community on campus to be apart of, but to also help me find and cultivate my niche during my undergraduate career.
Think about it, when you were a freshman one of the first things you wanted to find on campus besides food was a place to belong and feel wanted. I believe it’s important to take care of things for the betterment of others and not for yourself. I saw so much beauty and life in minority student organizations and I strived to give others the same exact vision that I have. Becoming an executive member in minority student organizations wasn’t just a decision for myself. I wanted to show men, especially those that had the same experiences as me coming into college that they too, can be leaders and inspire ambition to the others around them.
I try to use my abilities and talents to inspire and build courage in others to express themselves with their talents and art and motivate my African American community to carry themselves with the unconquerable mindset of African Kings and Queens.

3. What is your dream goal and how do you plan on achieving it?

My dream goal is to able to balance my passion with my purpose, which is whatever God makes that to be. I pray that God grants me the desires of my heart with the things that I want to do and the career that I want to pursue but if my passion isn’t the career destined for me I know that I will be fine simply because my passion will not die. Whatever or wherever my career path will take me, I know that I will find a way to incorporate or stay active in my passion.

4. Name a moment that you feel helped shape you into the young man that you are today.

A moment that shaped me into the young man that I am today was moment I had a brief conversation with Paul Brunson before he did a presentation to campus during my time at Texas State University. At that point and time in my life I was still maturing so I seek advice and mentors desperately. Once I saw that Brunson was coming to Campus I could not miss it. I remember that day I was at an all time low. My self esteem was stomped on and thrown in the trash and I prayed that his presentation would revitalize my life.

I scanned my ID and walked through the double doors. I saw the clusters of people ahead of me and I just dropped my head because I didn’t want to be seen. Honestly, I didn’t feel like I was seen. For the longest I had the mentality of feeling like a fly on the wall. As I speak on this I can recall the weight of worries that I carried in eyes, my scarred heart that I recklessly wore on sleeves, and the chips that I wore on my shoulders. I walked through the crowd and I felt a warm hand touch my cold body. He simply said “How are you?”. I simply looked at him and remained silent.
The next thing you know he grabbed my shoulders with both of his hands and he looked me dead into my eyes and said “Hey man, you’re going to be alright I promise you”. My mind was absolutely blown. This was the first interaction I had with this man, and he saw all of me: The good, the bad, and the ugly and still believed in me in a time where I didn’t even believe in myself. After that moment, I was in the presentation taking so many notes and watching his every move. He had such confidence, intellect, vocabulary, and hope all while still being a down to Earth regular guy. 


5. Name a person (dead or alive) that you look up to & why?

A person that I look up to would be Common. Common’s claim to fame was first a rapper, but with time this man became multifaceted. He is now an entrepreneur, mentor, actor, and film producer. The average person would look up to him for his successes but for me I look up to him because even though he has achieved milestones, he hasn’t forgotten that he is human. Everything about Common is genuine. His flaws, his music, his emotions. I look up to him and see a man confident and in tuned with himself and happy.


6. When it comes to being a man, what do you feel should be the three core values that a gentleman should uphold?
When it comes to being a man, three core values a man should uphold is love for all mankind, respect for women, and confidence in himself to succeed and overcome what may come their way.      


7. What is a quote that live by and how do you live up to it?

A quote that I live by is “Until the Lion has a Historian, The Hunter will Always be the Hero”. I live up to it by trying to discover more about people than what’s on the surface. I have a strong desire to see people’s worth past their face value. I want to feel people before I feel them. If that makes sense.

8. Piece of advice that you would give to young men of color who do not believe in themselves or lack role models?

To the young man of color who doesn’t believe in himself: You can be anything that you want to be. All you must do is believe in your vision and most of all yourself. Never forget to be yourself no matter how hard it may seem. In our society it is way too easy to be everybody else, but what’s truly amazing is a strong, confident individual that can stand and walk on their own two feet.


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